uncertain mind, decided body - fic recap
Jan. 4th, 2022 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
onceand_forallOh it's BAKUGOU KATSUKI TIME!!!!!!!!!
Click HERE for the shiketsu masterpost.
BACKGROUND
Confession time: I literally started writing this part out of pure spite. Yeah, yeah, probs not the best way to come about writing something but damn, is spite powerful, haha. In the piece before this, I asked what POV people would want to see next and god not only did barely anyone ask for Katsuki, I had a few people explicity say that they didn't want Katsuki at all. And listen, I get it. This series doesn't paint him in a great light. It's basically Katsuki-bashing. But I love him so much, seriously I do. So much. So I took peronsal offense to people saying they didn't want to see anything from him.
So I read those comments, sat my ass down in a public space and cranked out the first 500 words in like 10 minutes. Because hell if I'm not going to give Katsuki justice. I never wanted to excuse his actions (and I didn't), but that doesn't mean he can't grow! And just because he grows doesn't mean that Izuku has to accept that / let him back into his life. We're going for a neutral ending, one where they find themselves outside of their relationship. This AU ends with Katsuki and Izuku never being friends again, and while that hurts me sooooooo much, the hurt is why I'm writing this. Lol.
YO, THE NAMES
Listen, I hate the hero name Dynamight. With all my heart and soul. Maybe it's just because I've been in this fandom for a long time and got really used to the fandom names, or maybe just because Dynamight is fucking stupid-- either way, I wasn't about to let Bakugou be called that in my universe. I'm the writer here. So I went with Ground Zero instead! Beautiful, catchy, well accepted. He's always going to be GZ in my head.
Izuku's hero name is a bit more complicated. While I really like the name Deku, it is a clear tie back to his relationship with Katsuki. And while in canon they make up and the name becomes a positive thing, they obviously don't have that relationship in this universe. So Deku was scrapped.
Which leads to the thought of: Okay so what is his hero name going to be? I honestly struggled with this for a while. Nothing I was thinking of was "right". Nothing clicked. But eventually, I thought of Kinetic. It ties back to Izuku passing off his many quirks of OFA as general energy manipulation. And what's a type of energy? Kinetic energy. It's specifically the release of energy through motion, which I feels lines up perfectly to Izuku's "energy manipulation" quirk. And the name "Kinetic Energy" is a bit tacky for my personal tastes, so Kinetic it is! I'll probably write a small piece of Izuku figuring out a hero name, but that's literally just an idea I had right this moment, haha.
FATGUM
Isn't Fatgum the best? I think Katsuki would really excel under Fatgum: he's the right amount of Good, Tough, Hero and Takes No Bullshit and Let Me Allow You To Grow Under Your Own Terms. I see him as giving Katsuki the space to find what kind of hero he wants to be while also being strict enough that he's still offering the mentoring that a sidekick needs.
And so in this fic, he's a bit pushy. He knows that something is wrong with Katsuki and wants to help. Katsuki starts off this fic by "spilling his guts" so Fatgum knows what's up and is like yeah..... you need to do something about it. So even though Katsuki really doesn't want to, he also knows that he's needs to do something about it. It's a bit of tough love, but I think that's what Katsuki responds to best.
THE DINER SCENE
I started this fic with this particular scene in mind. Before this, I hadn't explored really what happened with all of 1A and how the like/dislike Katsuki because of it, and I thought Uraraka was a perfect way to do it. She's not a kind person if you get on her bad side, and Katsuki is on her worst.
And I don't know if you've ever had a falling out with someone and then run into them in a public space / in a space you weren't expecting them to be. It's a special type of awful feeling, and a feeling that I wanted to channel into this scene. There's the awkwardness, there's the regret, there's the anger. There's the ohfuckohfuckohshit of it all. And then there is Uraraka being very rude to Katsuki, which is just the cherry on top.
Of course then you have Kirishima and Mina playing the mediator of sorts. Everyone knows Katsuki is in the wrong, but Mina and Kiri (and the rest of Bakusquad) are in his corner, rooting for him. Because they've seen that he's grown and he's not the person he was before. Just because this series elaborates on his faults doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve people to also support him once he's shown himself a changed person, ya know.
THE APOLOGY
It starts with Katsuki fucking up. He calls Izuku Deku, which has been established to be a negative name already, no redemption for it. I actually had to go back when editing and make sure that every time that Katsuki vocalizes Izuku's name, he never says Deku unless it's in his head or to Deku himself. To everyone else he calls him Kinetic, or just doesn't call him anything. So he makes a (subconscious) point to call him Deku, which Izuku is incredibly bothered by.
And so starting off the wrong foot, it's not really a wonder that even after Katsuki fully apologizes, Izuku doesn't accept it. And this is what really shocks Katsuki: because he thought that maybe, just maybe since Izuku and him have been through so much together (and even when not together, at least in parallel to each other) that they would have to find their way back to each other, right? And that's for sure how it works in other AUs/Canon, but not here, babey!
It's angst only.
So Katsuki apologizes > Izuku doesn't accept it > Katsuki is left having to move on without closure.
And it's so so so fucking sucky to not have closure, but Katsuki is a big boy. He'll be just fine. Maybe I'll write more Katsuki parts, maybe not. :)
thanks for reading,
once!
find me other places: twt | tumblr | cc | ao3
Click HERE for the shiketsu masterpost.
Confession time: I literally started writing this part out of pure spite. Yeah, yeah, probs not the best way to come about writing something but damn, is spite powerful, haha. In the piece before this, I asked what POV people would want to see next and god not only did barely anyone ask for Katsuki, I had a few people explicity say that they didn't want Katsuki at all. And listen, I get it. This series doesn't paint him in a great light. It's basically Katsuki-bashing. But I love him so much, seriously I do. So much. So I took peronsal offense to people saying they didn't want to see anything from him.
So I read those comments, sat my ass down in a public space and cranked out the first 500 words in like 10 minutes. Because hell if I'm not going to give Katsuki justice. I never wanted to excuse his actions (and I didn't), but that doesn't mean he can't grow! And just because he grows doesn't mean that Izuku has to accept that / let him back into his life. We're going for a neutral ending, one where they find themselves outside of their relationship. This AU ends with Katsuki and Izuku never being friends again, and while that hurts me sooooooo much, the hurt is why I'm writing this. Lol.
Listen, I hate the hero name Dynamight. With all my heart and soul. Maybe it's just because I've been in this fandom for a long time and got really used to the fandom names, or maybe just because Dynamight is fucking stupid-- either way, I wasn't about to let Bakugou be called that in my universe. I'm the writer here. So I went with Ground Zero instead! Beautiful, catchy, well accepted. He's always going to be GZ in my head.
Izuku's hero name is a bit more complicated. While I really like the name Deku, it is a clear tie back to his relationship with Katsuki. And while in canon they make up and the name becomes a positive thing, they obviously don't have that relationship in this universe. So Deku was scrapped.
Which leads to the thought of: Okay so what is his hero name going to be? I honestly struggled with this for a while. Nothing I was thinking of was "right". Nothing clicked. But eventually, I thought of Kinetic. It ties back to Izuku passing off his many quirks of OFA as general energy manipulation. And what's a type of energy? Kinetic energy. It's specifically the release of energy through motion, which I feels lines up perfectly to Izuku's "energy manipulation" quirk. And the name "Kinetic Energy" is a bit tacky for my personal tastes, so Kinetic it is! I'll probably write a small piece of Izuku figuring out a hero name, but that's literally just an idea I had right this moment, haha.
Isn't Fatgum the best? I think Katsuki would really excel under Fatgum: he's the right amount of Good, Tough, Hero and Takes No Bullshit and Let Me Allow You To Grow Under Your Own Terms. I see him as giving Katsuki the space to find what kind of hero he wants to be while also being strict enough that he's still offering the mentoring that a sidekick needs.
And so in this fic, he's a bit pushy. He knows that something is wrong with Katsuki and wants to help. Katsuki starts off this fic by "spilling his guts" so Fatgum knows what's up and is like yeah..... you need to do something about it. So even though Katsuki really doesn't want to, he also knows that he's needs to do something about it. It's a bit of tough love, but I think that's what Katsuki responds to best.
I started this fic with this particular scene in mind. Before this, I hadn't explored really what happened with all of 1A and how the like/dislike Katsuki because of it, and I thought Uraraka was a perfect way to do it. She's not a kind person if you get on her bad side, and Katsuki is on her worst.
And I don't know if you've ever had a falling out with someone and then run into them in a public space / in a space you weren't expecting them to be. It's a special type of awful feeling, and a feeling that I wanted to channel into this scene. There's the awkwardness, there's the regret, there's the anger. There's the ohfuckohfuckohshit of it all. And then there is Uraraka being very rude to Katsuki, which is just the cherry on top.
Of course then you have Kirishima and Mina playing the mediator of sorts. Everyone knows Katsuki is in the wrong, but Mina and Kiri (and the rest of Bakusquad) are in his corner, rooting for him. Because they've seen that he's grown and he's not the person he was before. Just because this series elaborates on his faults doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve people to also support him once he's shown himself a changed person, ya know.
It starts with Katsuki fucking up. He calls Izuku Deku, which has been established to be a negative name already, no redemption for it. I actually had to go back when editing and make sure that every time that Katsuki vocalizes Izuku's name, he never says Deku unless it's in his head or to Deku himself. To everyone else he calls him Kinetic, or just doesn't call him anything. So he makes a (subconscious) point to call him Deku, which Izuku is incredibly bothered by.
And so starting off the wrong foot, it's not really a wonder that even after Katsuki fully apologizes, Izuku doesn't accept it. And this is what really shocks Katsuki: because he thought that maybe, just maybe since Izuku and him have been through so much together (and even when not together, at least in parallel to each other) that they would have to find their way back to each other, right? And that's for sure how it works in other AUs/Canon, but not here, babey!
It's angst only.
So Katsuki apologizes > Izuku doesn't accept it > Katsuki is left having to move on without closure.
And it's so so so fucking sucky to not have closure, but Katsuki is a big boy. He'll be just fine. Maybe I'll write more Katsuki parts, maybe not. :)
thanks for reading,
once!
find me other places: twt | tumblr | cc | ao3
