2020 year in fic
Jan. 3rd, 2021 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
onceand_foralli have been convinced by gods greater than me to finally get a dreamwidth, a place where i am able to dump all my emotions and feelings and leave them off to the void. thanks, kaia, for the inspiration.
twenty-twenty has been a year. that's something you've heard everyone say at this point. and while there has been a lot of bad, my silver lining is being able to fall back in love with writing. not that i wasn't ever out of love, per say, but writing took a back seat in my life when it probably shouldn't have. i love writing. i love reading my writing. i love creating stories and i love enjoying them.
and this year i've found some pretty important realizations.
i've also had some reckonings with fandom as a whole, but that was more of a gradual process than anything else so i won't delve into that too deeply. but the bottom line: you are in charge of what passes through your life and you are in charge of making sure those things make you happy.
and i think i can confidently say that i am happy with how things are right now. a little overwhelmed and dreading my final year of uni, but happy nonetheless.
and now my year in fic
(i stole this formatting from kaia, who also stole it from some other people. piracy makes the world go round.)
STATS
# of fics: 10 (-)
total word count: 177,791 (↑119,007 words, um wtf)
fandoms written in: 4 [haikyuu, persona 5, legend of zelda, bts]
☀️
CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR IN REVIEW
tails of tales / 28.3k - yoonjin (bts)
wake up, get up (get out there!) / 23k - yoonjin (bts)
memento / 1.1k gen - link centric (legend of zelda)
talk, walk, back your shit up / 9.5k - gen, ryuji centric (persona 5)
check yes, jeon jungkook? / 20k - jinkook (bts)
call it what you want / 5.5k - taejin (bts)
nothing is a sure thing, shouyou / 6.7k - kenhina (haikyuu)
closing time / 68.7k - taejin (bts)
sun down, dreamless night / 5.7k - namgiseok (bts)
we're here for the cult shit / 8.5k - oisuga (haikyuu)
WHERE DID UR TITLES COME FROM?
my titles are always a mess. i either come up with them before the story even starts or i find random song lyrics two seconds before posting there is no in between.
tails of tales: this one actually came from one of my good hs friends (i think). it's a story about mermaids so like, ya know, a tale of tails: tails full of tales. ya know? okay im sorry
wake up, get up (get out there): this fic is a bts x persona fusion so of course i had to use the persona 5 theme song.
memento: this is a fic dealing with link's memory loss and whenever i think of that sort of thing, i think of the game to the moon. and one of the key aspects of that game was collecting mementos, thus the title.
talk, walk, back your shit up: from this lovely panic song. it just fits ryujii. no real rhyme or reason.
check yes, jeon jungkook: from we the king's iconic song, duh. i didn't actually choose this title; this fic was prompted by the bts emo fic fest and it came with the lovely title.
call it what you want: literally just word for word from a ftp song. no deeper meaner.
nothing is a sure thing, shouyou: from one of my all time favorite bands, macseal
closing time: oh BOY. OH BOY! god, so this is titled after semisonic's closing time (great song) but man, it did not start that way. it was originally titled dear [redacted], stop fucking up my shit from our dear boys at swmrs. but then they were outed for some rather startling sexual assault charges during writing and i had to scrap both the title of the fic and some chapter titles. and i had to redo the entire playlist this fic had. it was a disaster so fuck you swrms. both for being flame piles of performative garbage And for ruining my fic titles. from the bottom of my heart, fuck you. you literally ruined yourselves.
anyway
sun down, dreamless night: what screams soft, polyam vampires more than orville peck? ur right, nothing!
we're here for the cult shit: this is a buzzfeed unsolved au and what is more chaotic-ness than an actual quote from the actual show itself? i love this title.
REFLECTIONS FROM 2019
2019 was a good year, overall for my fics. i was still incredibly busy with school but i wrote with what free time i had, and i was really satisfied with my work. was it my best work? no, and it was a lot of reposting from zines BUT i did write one of my all time fav fic of mine come out, come out.
also, 2019 was a great year in terms of popularity of my fics. i concluded 2019 with over 2k kudos, in comparison to BARELY 1k this year, even though i over tripled my writing output.
speaking of that, i'm really heartbroken by how poorly my fics were received this year. that is not to say that i am not overjoyed by every single comment, kudos, and bookmarks (bc i am!!! wtf!!!!) but i'm not going to lie and say i'm happy with them either. my stats are kind of pathetic and i really felt like i deserved more. none of my fics even reached 300 kudos, which is kind of a shame considering how much sheer work i put into them and how well fics of past years have done.
it's also really hard to not compare urself to your friends / mutuals and see how well their works r doing while urs just... don't even though you know you are producing on the same level of content(or sometimes a higher level)... sigh the world is not fair and that's just how it works.
2019's success has made me upset at 2020, but content and happy to produce solely for myself (and my lovely friends) in 2021.
i still hope at least one of them *cough cough closing time* blows up, but honestly i would just be happy with it reaching 200 kudos.
that's what you get, once, for writing just rarepairs and/or for really niche audiences. this is your own bed, lie in it
☀️
OVERALL
looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
i literally wrote so much more than i've ever written before. like yeah i posted 177k but tbh i think i wrote closer to 250k... insane! yes, it was because of the pandemic and because i took the semester off from school but still i'm so proud! i feel like i've grown so much as a writer. it's a good feeling.
what pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in january?
im sorry but HAIKYUU???? IM BACK INTO HAIKYUU???? AM I FIFTEEN AGAIN????? AND OIKAWA IS ACTUALLY LATINO WHAT THE FUCK ????
did you take any writing risks this year?
oh god did i. closing time is the biggest fic i've ever worked on. i had to have two google docs to hold the entire thing because after fifty pages the first google doc became too laggy to work with. i didn't even know that was possible.
additionally, i created 10+ OCs for that story and had to keep track of ages, users/handles, icons, friendship circles, stan tendencies, and if they produced/made fan content. it was so much but ah, jez, i will always miss u girl.
i also fucking coded the entire thing and the most i've coded before in fics is adding hyperlinks to my end of the chapter notes to link to my twitter. it was a lot but GOD was it so rewarding to see the finished thing. have i talked about how satisfied i am with closing time yet? have i? hehe. because i so am.
big ole kudos to people who actually go out and make code for ao3... and then post it for FREE! actual legends. my work would be nothing without you.
events you participated in this year:
no zines this year (ive had enough of bts zines tbh) but i did two fests and one bigbang. i wrote check yes, jeon jungkook for the emo bts fic fest and sun down, dreamless night for the rapline fic fest. they both were a bunch of fun to write for, even if i did end up having to write them in the last few weeks because i don't know how to manage time when it comes to fics <3
rapline was a bit harder to write for me thank most fics mostly because i think i've finally hit my falling out point with bts fic + it was in hoseok's pov and he's always so fucking hard to write.
emo fic fest was SUPER fun to write and i just wrote a lot about what my experiences of a (pseudo) college senior and the fear of life coming too fast and your dreams still out of reach. sigh. i love that fic. if you do a nice close reading, i pulled the college campus off of my sisters uni [REDACTED] and mine [ALSO REDACTED].
i also wrote for wintermoon, a taejin reverse big bang and bc that is not out yet, i'll save it for another post. spoiler: it was really fun to work on
☀️
BEST AND WORST
most fun to write
i had to think about this one for a while, but i think it is hands down the ryuji x futaba scene in talk, walk back your shit up. the idea of them hanging out kinda sparked the entire fic, and in the scene they have the strongest brother/sister chaotic relationship and it really warms my heart.
LIKE??? THEY R SO CUTE???? HAVING FUN AND SHOPPING TOGETHER????? god what a smile, i love those two nerds so much. if ur reading this it's a sign to play persona 5 / persona 5 royal.
hardest to write
the final confession scene in closing time was personally so hard because it was just. so much emotion. taehyung was crying. seokjin was crying. i was crying! maybe i'll make another post at another time, but closing time was loosely based off of my own life and that scene is just... what i never got. so it packed a super emotional punch.
soz for the tears ;-;
best comment/review
I GOT THE MOST WONDERFUL COMMENT ON CLOSING TIME THAT TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT NO ONE ELSE PICKED UP ON. seriously, they brought up the social commentary aspect and the struggle and loneliness you can feel as u figure urself out... god i saw that comment after i went on a run and i exploded into tears. only one person has to get it, ya know? and that person got it.
additionally, im blessed with some great friends (madin, ana, kt, jen!) who leave very long, detailed comments that make my entire world spin. ur the best friends a girl could ask for.
☀️
MY TOPS (not like that)
top five scenes you want illustrated
top three fics u read this year
honorary mention is kaia's tinhetting fic. i legit think about that on a weekly basis thank u so much <3 i know u say it's boring but i think it's amazing.
☀️
PERSONAL THOUGHTS
comment on writing style/process
i think i have really nailed my thought > outline > writing process. seriously, i have it down to the point where i can just churn out outlines like no tomorrow and then write them with ease. it's so nice to have a solidified process.
also, my writing style can be whatever i want it to be. but i think i thrive when i'm writing things that are slightly silly.
something you learned this year
writing can and should be fun. i don't need a lot of strong plot or deeper meaning to make something that is enjoyable. also. IM A GOOD WRITER! I WRITE GOOD SHIT! i've put years and countless hours into this craft and i'm pretty good at it!
i think one of the reasons hq brainrot is hitting me so hard rn (i have like 6 hq wips atm) is because back when i was first into hq in my early hs years, i was so so so passionate about all the characters and had so many stories i wanted to tell about them. but i didn't have the skill to see these stories through. and now i'm older and i still have the same ideas but now the skill to match them (and the discipline.) ! and it makes me really happy!
☀️
GOALS FOR 2021
three things:
☀️
this year has been a good year for my writing. i feel more confident than ever before and i'm hoping that i can carry that confidence and my pleasant attitude towards writing to 2021 and beyond!
if you are still reading this, bless you honestly. thanks for making it to the end.
con todo mi amor,
once
find me other places: twt | tumblr | cc | ao3
twenty-twenty has been a year. that's something you've heard everyone say at this point. and while there has been a lot of bad, my silver lining is being able to fall back in love with writing. not that i wasn't ever out of love, per say, but writing took a back seat in my life when it probably shouldn't have. i love writing. i love reading my writing. i love creating stories and i love enjoying them.
and this year i've found some pretty important realizations.
- who gives a FUCK about writing for popular things? if i want to write a murder fic about a rarepair i've had since i was fourteen, i'm gonna fucking do it
- i do, in fact, give a fuck about writing for popular things. and that is okay.
- your words do not have to have a deep, personal meaning for them to be impactful. short and funny things that make people happy are also impactful! and also just as important
- comedy is my thing. idk when that happened, but it is. i love it
- writing hard, but i already knew that
i've also had some reckonings with fandom as a whole, but that was more of a gradual process than anything else so i won't delve into that too deeply. but the bottom line: you are in charge of what passes through your life and you are in charge of making sure those things make you happy.
and i think i can confidently say that i am happy with how things are right now. a little overwhelmed and dreading my final year of uni, but happy nonetheless.
and now my year in fic
(i stole this formatting from kaia, who also stole it from some other people. piracy makes the world go round.)
STATS
# of fics: 10 (-)
total word count: 177,791 (↑119,007 words, um wtf)
fandoms written in: 4 [haikyuu, persona 5, legend of zelda, bts]
CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR IN REVIEW
tails of tales / 28.3k - yoonjin (bts)
wake up, get up (get out there!) / 23k - yoonjin (bts)
memento / 1.1k gen - link centric (legend of zelda)
talk, walk, back your shit up / 9.5k - gen, ryuji centric (persona 5)
check yes, jeon jungkook? / 20k - jinkook (bts)
call it what you want / 5.5k - taejin (bts)
nothing is a sure thing, shouyou / 6.7k - kenhina (haikyuu)
closing time / 68.7k - taejin (bts)
sun down, dreamless night / 5.7k - namgiseok (bts)
we're here for the cult shit / 8.5k - oisuga (haikyuu)
WHERE DID UR TITLES COME FROM?
my titles are always a mess. i either come up with them before the story even starts or i find random song lyrics two seconds before posting there is no in between.
tails of tales: this one actually came from one of my good hs friends (i think). it's a story about mermaids so like, ya know, a tale of tails: tails full of tales. ya know? okay im sorry
wake up, get up (get out there): this fic is a bts x persona fusion so of course i had to use the persona 5 theme song.
memento: this is a fic dealing with link's memory loss and whenever i think of that sort of thing, i think of the game to the moon. and one of the key aspects of that game was collecting mementos, thus the title.
talk, walk, back your shit up: from this lovely panic song. it just fits ryujii. no real rhyme or reason.
check yes, jeon jungkook: from we the king's iconic song, duh. i didn't actually choose this title; this fic was prompted by the bts emo fic fest and it came with the lovely title.
call it what you want: literally just word for word from a ftp song. no deeper meaner.
nothing is a sure thing, shouyou: from one of my all time favorite bands, macseal
closing time: oh BOY. OH BOY! god, so this is titled after semisonic's closing time (great song) but man, it did not start that way. it was originally titled dear [redacted], stop fucking up my shit from our dear boys at swmrs. but then they were outed for some rather startling sexual assault charges during writing and i had to scrap both the title of the fic and some chapter titles. and i had to redo the entire playlist this fic had. it was a disaster so fuck you swrms. both for being flame piles of performative garbage And for ruining my fic titles. from the bottom of my heart, fuck you. you literally ruined yourselves.
anyway
sun down, dreamless night: what screams soft, polyam vampires more than orville peck? ur right, nothing!
we're here for the cult shit: this is a buzzfeed unsolved au and what is more chaotic-ness than an actual quote from the actual show itself? i love this title.
REFLECTIONS FROM 2019
2019 was a good year, overall for my fics. i was still incredibly busy with school but i wrote with what free time i had, and i was really satisfied with my work. was it my best work? no, and it was a lot of reposting from zines BUT i did write one of my all time fav fic of mine come out, come out.
also, 2019 was a great year in terms of popularity of my fics. i concluded 2019 with over 2k kudos, in comparison to BARELY 1k this year, even though i over tripled my writing output.
speaking of that, i'm really heartbroken by how poorly my fics were received this year. that is not to say that i am not overjoyed by every single comment, kudos, and bookmarks (bc i am!!! wtf!!!!) but i'm not going to lie and say i'm happy with them either. my stats are kind of pathetic and i really felt like i deserved more. none of my fics even reached 300 kudos, which is kind of a shame considering how much sheer work i put into them and how well fics of past years have done.
it's also really hard to not compare urself to your friends / mutuals and see how well their works r doing while urs just... don't even though you know you are producing on the same level of content
2019's success has made me upset at 2020, but content and happy to produce solely for myself (and my lovely friends) in 2021.
i still hope at least one of them *cough cough closing time* blows up, but honestly i would just be happy with it reaching 200 kudos.
that's what you get, once, for writing just rarepairs and/or for really niche audiences. this is your own bed, lie in it
OVERALL
looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
i literally wrote so much more than i've ever written before. like yeah i posted 177k but tbh i think i wrote closer to 250k... insane! yes, it was because of the pandemic and because i took the semester off from school but still i'm so proud! i feel like i've grown so much as a writer. it's a good feeling.
what pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in january?
im sorry but HAIKYUU???? IM BACK INTO HAIKYUU???? AM I FIFTEEN AGAIN????? AND OIKAWA IS ACTUALLY LATINO WHAT THE FUCK ????
did you take any writing risks this year?
oh god did i. closing time is the biggest fic i've ever worked on. i had to have two google docs to hold the entire thing because after fifty pages the first google doc became too laggy to work with. i didn't even know that was possible.
additionally, i created 10+ OCs for that story and had to keep track of ages, users/handles, icons, friendship circles, stan tendencies, and if they produced/made fan content. it was so much but ah, jez, i will always miss u girl.
i also fucking coded the entire thing and the most i've coded before in fics is adding hyperlinks to my end of the chapter notes to link to my twitter. it was a lot but GOD was it so rewarding to see the finished thing. have i talked about how satisfied i am with closing time yet? have i? hehe. because i so am.
big ole kudos to people who actually go out and make code for ao3... and then post it for FREE! actual legends. my work would be nothing without you.
events you participated in this year:
no zines this year (ive had enough of bts zines tbh) but i did two fests and one bigbang. i wrote check yes, jeon jungkook for the emo bts fic fest and sun down, dreamless night for the rapline fic fest. they both were a bunch of fun to write for, even if i did end up having to write them in the last few weeks because i don't know how to manage time when it comes to fics <3
rapline was a bit harder to write for me thank most fics mostly because i think i've finally hit my falling out point with bts fic + it was in hoseok's pov and he's always so fucking hard to write.
emo fic fest was SUPER fun to write and i just wrote a lot about what my experiences of a (pseudo) college senior and the fear of life coming too fast and your dreams still out of reach. sigh. i love that fic. if you do a nice close reading, i pulled the college campus off of my sisters uni [REDACTED] and mine [ALSO REDACTED].
i also wrote for wintermoon, a taejin reverse big bang and bc that is not out yet, i'll save it for another post. spoiler: it was really fun to work on
BEST AND WORST
most fun to write
i had to think about this one for a while, but i think it is hands down the ryuji x futaba scene in talk, walk back your shit up. the idea of them hanging out kinda sparked the entire fic, and in the scene they have the strongest brother/sister chaotic relationship and it really warms my heart.
"Hey," Ryuji says, having an idea that probably only Futaba would go along with. "Are there more places that have Phantom Thief merch?"
Futaba raises an eyebrow. "Yeah. Some of it is horrible, though."
"Do you want to go look for some more?"
Futaba smiles. "Skull, I thought you never would ask."
LIKE??? THEY R SO CUTE???? HAVING FUN AND SHOPPING TOGETHER????? god what a smile, i love those two nerds so much. if ur reading this it's a sign to play persona 5 / persona 5 royal.
hardest to write
the final confession scene in closing time was personally so hard because it was just. so much emotion. taehyung was crying. seokjin was crying. i was crying! maybe i'll make another post at another time, but closing time was loosely based off of my own life and that scene is just... what i never got. so it packed a super emotional punch.
Seokjin nods. “And I— ” He knows what he wants to say. He wants to tell Taehyung that he wants to be with him, truly and genuinely. That he doesn’t want to live through a lie anymore. That he’s done with playing games and he wants to love him, if Taehyung will accept it.
But the words are all in Seokjin’s head and get lost in the translation. He settles on, “And I love you.”
“I know,” Taehyung repeats. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
soz for the tears ;-;
best comment/review
I GOT THE MOST WONDERFUL COMMENT ON CLOSING TIME THAT TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT NO ONE ELSE PICKED UP ON. seriously, they brought up the social commentary aspect and the struggle and loneliness you can feel as u figure urself out... god i saw that comment after i went on a run and i exploded into tears. only one person has to get it, ya know? and that person got it.
additionally, im blessed with some great friends (madin, ana, kt, jen!) who leave very long, detailed comments that make my entire world spin. ur the best friends a girl could ask for.
MY TOPS (not like that)
top five scenes you want illustrated
- the final scene in my kenhina fic where it's revealed that kenma was the one behind shouyou's death the entire time, more specifically the scene where he is calling kuroo and sitting in the pile of blood.
- the boss battle fight scene in my bts persona au where everyone is exhausted, but still wanting to fight some more, and the boss comes to reveal a child seokjin-- the last time he was happy. and then teenager seokjin hugs and comforts the child version of himself and ends the fight.
- suga FINALLY confessing (yelling) to oikawa in we're here for the cult shit and then kenma NOPE-ING so hard and pulling ennoshita and kuroo with him. that scene makes me crack up.
- the spring day kiss that starts it all in closing time <3
- yoonji's and seokjin's secret handshake in check yes, jeon jungkook. i literally love yoonji so damn much she's so cute.
top three fics u read this year
- the entire forewarned is forearmed series by VampireBadger. they are seriously doing god's work. it's almost 500k of the BEST persona 5 protag grows up in inaba au that is on this planet. plus it's childhood best friends yusuke/akira and nanako/akira. and their writing is so good and their characterization is near perfect. plus brothers akira/yu. and just. THE FOUND FAMILY OF IT ALL! hands down one of my fav fics of this year and one of my fav of all time.
- no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin by tooruluvr. it's a kenhina superhero au and GOD i have no idea where to begin with this. it's short (11k) but SOOO impactful. every line, every scene packs a punch and leaves you reeling. i had the pleasure of reading this at 2am mere hours after it had been posted and i legit had to give myself the night to think about what to comment. it was so much emotion that i needed time to collect my thoughts. kenhina supremacy ig.
- gossip lord zuko by RejectsCanon. ah yes, the great atla renaissance in the year of our lord twenty twenty. tbh, i read a lot of fic but not a lot of them stick with me enough to bookmark them. and this one was so goddamn funny. it was silly, goofy, and just the light hearted fun that i enjoy. would read over and over again just to bring me joy.
honorary mention is kaia's tinhetting fic. i legit think about that on a weekly basis thank u so much <3 i know u say it's boring but i think it's amazing.
PERSONAL THOUGHTS
comment on writing style/process
i think i have really nailed my thought > outline > writing process. seriously, i have it down to the point where i can just churn out outlines like no tomorrow and then write them with ease. it's so nice to have a solidified process.
also, my writing style can be whatever i want it to be. but i think i thrive when i'm writing things that are slightly silly.
something you learned this year
writing can and should be fun. i don't need a lot of strong plot or deeper meaning to make something that is enjoyable. also. IM A GOOD WRITER! I WRITE GOOD SHIT! i've put years and countless hours into this craft and i'm pretty good at it!
i think one of the reasons hq brainrot is hitting me so hard rn (i have like 6 hq wips atm) is because back when i was first into hq in my early hs years, i was so so so passionate about all the characters and had so many stories i wanted to tell about them. but i didn't have the skill to see these stories through. and now i'm older and i still have the same ideas but now the skill to match them (and the discipline.) ! and it makes me really happy!
GOALS FOR 2021
three things:
- i want to write 500 words a day! not a big goal, but one i will constantly have to think about. so far, i'm doing good.
- i want to write a fic summary / recap / behind the scenes for every fic i post this year. i think that's the reason behind this dreamwidth: to give a home to all the words i have that don't quite make it out to the final ao3 page.
- can i please just write one porn scene. please. it's the only thing i can't write and at this point it's a character flaw.
this year has been a good year for my writing. i feel more confident than ever before and i'm hoping that i can carry that confidence and my pleasant attitude towards writing to 2021 and beyond!
if you are still reading this, bless you honestly. thanks for making it to the end.
con todo mi amor,
once
find me other places: twt | tumblr | cc | ao3
